You live in California when......

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford  to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer  his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your  driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your  neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is,  you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many  miles away it is.

"What's in a name?"
You live in New York when...

1. You say  "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have  never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument  about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find  Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You  believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you  multilingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact  is an act of aggression.

"What's in a name?"
You live in Alaska when . . .

1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween  costumes fit over parkas
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5.  The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

"What's in a name?"
You live in the Deep South when ...

1.  You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. "Ya'll" is singular and  "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain't  from 'round here, are ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.

"What's in a name?"
You live in Colorado when ...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You  tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the  Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4.  The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.

"What's in a name?"
You  live in the Midwest when . . .

1. You've never met any celebrities,  but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars  waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C"  on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat  at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

"What's in a name?"
You live in Florida when...

1. You eat  dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some  kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent  dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. You  don't know how to vote.